Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Saturday, December 31, 2011
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
All right. Time to make those resolutions. I have 8-1/2 hours to come up with all of those things that I meant to do last year and the year before that. This year I'm going to keep it simple. Maybe that way I'll actually get some of them done.
1. EXERCISE MORE. It's important to exercise. But I live in Minnesota and it gets so cold here your eyeballs freeze open if you're not careful.
2. EAT BETTER. You are what you eat, right? But wait. That means I'll end up a vegetable if I eat too healthy. Better keep those chocolates in my drawer.
3. GET A MAMMOGRAM. I do this yearly, I promise. But every since a girlfriend of mine told me about a lady who was getting a mammogram and suddenly a fire alarm went off and the nurse ran away leaving the poor lady squished helplessly in the machine, I've been putting them off until the last minute. The fire alarm was just a drill by the way, but I'll bet that lady takes a few friends with her whenever she goes in for her mammogram.
4. ENTERTAIN MORE. Actually, I should just write entertain. The last time I had anyone over was my brother-in-law for Thanksgiving and he brought the turkey.
5. BECOME ORGANIZED. I really tried this year. I made so many "to do" lists, I could wallpaper my house with them. I put things in order, broke down what had to be done, and started off with a bang. The problem is, I can't find any of those lists now.
6. DRESS MORE FASHIONABLY. My daughters have pointed out that many of my clothes are outdated. They even helped me clean out my closet. Very thoroughly I might add. However, all of the clothes I gave away are now back in style. I don't see the point in buying clothes that I was forced to give away in the first place. But OK, maybe this wouldn't be such a bad idea.
7. BE MORE POSITIVE. You know how it goes. Sometimes you see the glass half full, sometimes it's half empty. I'll admit that while I appear to be a very optimistic person, I often make things much harder than they are. Attitude is everything. Well, that and accessories I hear.
8. BLOG MORE FREQUENTLY. I'm a writer, so I really should blog more than twice a year.
8 more hours until 2012! I'll probably think of some more resolutions that I may or may not do. But in the meantime, I'm going to walk my dogs, find a nice outfit to wear for tonight, eat my greens, and start on a new list. But I am not going to have a mammogram today. No way.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
CHECK OUT MY ALTER EGO, MISS HANNIGAN'S SHENANIGANS!
http://hannigansshenanigans.blogspot.com/2011/07/miss-hannigans-dance-moves.html
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Beware of the Person in the Next Stall
Years ago my girlfriend and I went to the lovely Dorothy Chandelier Pavilion to see "Annie Get Your Gun." My girlfriend, Patty was going to be playing Annie, and I was the choreographer in an upcoming production at The Conejo Players in Thousand Oaks, CA. We were looking forward to seeing the Los Angeles Production, and we certainly weren't disappointed.During intermission, we waited in the perpetually long line for the restroom while the men swiftly and easily went in and out of theirs. Once in our stalls, I looked to my left at Patty's lovely espadrilles under the dividing wall. She had recently purchased them, and I couldn't wait to get a pair. Patty was always a step ahead of me in fashion, and I would often take my cue from her as to what to buy.
I decided to play a trick on my unsuspecting girlfriend. I've always enjoyed playing silly, innocuous tricks on my friends. While still admiring her lovely sandals, I reached under the stall divider and untied Patty's right espadrille. Whoosh! Easy! So easy in fact that I made a mental note that when I bought my own pair, I would double knot the laces so this wouldn't happen to me.
Patty screamed. I laughed. But I knew that time was of the essence. I didn't want to lose the element of surprise. I moved in for the second one. I reached all the way over and untied her other lace. She screamed again. I laughed even harder and said: "I got you!"
I left my stall and went to the sink to wash my hands. Still chuckling to myself, I watched Patty's door in the mirror waiting for her to come out. I imagined that it was taking her some time to retie her sandals. I looked down the long full bathroom, and saw...Patty! She was washing her hands at the other end of the room!
Nothing can describe the panic that I felt. I motioned frantically for Patty to hurry. "What?" What's the matter?" she said as I quickly pushed her out of the bathroom. "Shhh! Don't say anything!" I whispered hoping that nobody would later be able to recognize my voice. Surely the victim in the stall was already making mental notes of the perpetrator!
Once we were out of the bathroom, I said: "Walk this way!" I zigged and zagged as fast as I could until I felt that we were in a safe zone and that no one there would recognize my shoes. Then I began to laugh. And laugh. It took me a while to tell Patty what had happened. When I did we both howled until tears ran down our cheeks.
Despite the humor of the situation, I've always felt truly sorry for the poor woman in the stall. I'm sure that it was a frightening experience. So, in the unlikely event that she reads this, I would like to publicly apologize for untying both of your espadrilles. If nothing else, perhaps you can take comfort in knowing that you have fabulous taste in shoes!
Sunday, May 17, 2009
The Bear Jumped Over The Moon
Photo by Bruce Challgren: http://www.photopixels.com/It's a big responsibility performing a well-known story such as Goodnight Moon in front of children. Most of them know every word by heart. Playing the Old Lady Bunny a few months ago, I began to recite the beloved words: "In the great green room there was a telephone, and a red balloon, and a picture of ..."
And that's when it happened! In that moment, I couldn't remember which animal jumped over the moon! The whole show is made up of animals. There is the mouse, the dog, the cat, the COW and of course the main character, the Little Bunny. In my defense, right before I began my lines, something had fallen. It was loud. I was momentarily distracted and concerned that someone might have been hurt. Also, you must know that the boy who played the cow also played one of the three bears.
Regardless, what came out of my mouth was: "In the great green room, there was a telephone, and a red balloon, and a picture of the bear jumping over the moon." To add insult to injury, the lights came up on the picture for all to see of the cow jumping over the moon. (See above photo.)
There was a pregnant pause. Some whispers in the audience. I can only imagine what the children were saying. "Mommy, is that a bear?" "Daddy, the cow jumped over the moon, right?" Or more likely: "That lady doesn't know what the heck she's talking about!"
It's amazing what the mind goes through in just a matter of seconds. I thought: "Should I tell the Little Bunny that of course I meant to say: "Cow" and not "Bear?" Should I refer to the bear as a cow for the rest of the show for consistency? Should I stop the show and make an announcement? All actors know this feeling - it's aptly called the Actor's Nightmare.
Of course the show always must go on. And it did. Quite nicely, thank you. But I never lived it down. Every time the cast did a microphone check prior to one of our shows, someone would say: "And the bear jumped over the moon!" Great laughter followed. Of course, I was always afraid that I would say the line wrong again. I would sit in my rocking chair at the beginning of each show and say the line correctly over and over again like a mantra. Luckily, I got it right for the rest of the performances.
But really, if you think about it, a bear does have about as much of a chance to jump over the moon as a cow does...
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Martha's Magical Morning
My sister Martha is a wonderful artist. Not long ago, she read a post from the beautiful blog: A Fanciful Twist. http://afancifultwist.typepad.com/. The post was about embracing the beauty of nature. Martha had been particularly busy that week, and decided to take a moment for herself before her three teenagers woke up.Energized by the beauty and wonder of the world around her, she opened her front door to skip outside into the garden of inspiration. Fairies were sure to be there welcoming her, along with the birds, butterflies, and flowers brimming with creative guidance and a spiritual muse or two.
What happened instead was this: Two birds flew into her house. Martha has 2 Golden Retrievers, and well, they aren't called "bird dogs" for nothing. Tweety #1 was the lucky one. She navigated herself back outside. Tweety #2 wasn't so fortunate.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
No Returns, No Exchanges, No Checks!!!
There is way too much stress in this world. A while ago my husband and I waited in line to purchase a few items at a hardware store. The line was longer than we in America like to stand in, and there was frustration building. You could feel it. You know what I'm talking about. Heads begin to look around as if that action will beckon the arrival of another cashier. People begin to throw their hip out and exhale. Loudly. I know because I am usually one of those people. But on this day, I didn't really mind the line.As hoped for, and most certainly brought on by the body language of the increasingly frustrated customers, a new cashier came to open up another register. Oh joy. We wouldn't have to wait those few minutes longer for "those slow people in front of us". Have you ever noticed that no matter what, the person in front of you always feels like "a slow person"?
But I must move on to the point. I tend to ramble, and I'm really working on that. Where was I? Oh yes, a new line! Choirs began to sing! Rose petals fell from the rafters! And my husband and I were the lucky ones who were called upon to be first in this new line! However, the new cashier looked stressed. Very stressed. Even angry. I don't know what had happened to her that day, but I decided to try and help her out of her funk. Let's call her, Matilda.
Matilda said in a very authoritative voice: "I'm open. No returns, no exchanges, and no checks!!!" That's when my plan went into action. I place my three items down, and pointed to each item, one at a time. I said: "I need to return this, exchange this, and I'll need to write a check for this." A moment of silence. But not for long.
Matilda responded loudly: "I just said: No returns, no exchanges, and no checks!!!" Then the people behind me began getting mad. I realized that I had better get out of this fast before Matilda (or someone about to buy a hammer) exploded or threw something at me.
"I was just kidding", I replied with my most award winning smile. No doubt Matilda would begin laughing and her day could start anew. Well, it didn't happen that way. But it did for others. The lady behind me began to laugh. So did a lot of the other people who heard the exchange. The lady behind me, let's call her Grace, said to me: "I can't believe how stressed out I was! When you said that you needed to return, exchange and write a check I got furious! And over such a little thing! Thank you for making me laugh. I needed it!"
Knowing that my work there was done, and seeing that Matilda still wasn't laughing, my husband and I left the store giggling like two little kids. I felt good. I had brightened someones day. Next time I buy groceries, I'm going to pretend that I want to pay with pennies. That ought to be good for a laugh!
Monday, February 16, 2009
Please Don't Flash the Bunny!
I was the only adult in the musical. The average age of the cast was 13. Being the only adult has its challenges, but these youth actors were pros.
The reason that I am mentioning the ages of the cast is because as you can imagine, I felt very motherly towards them. When they got sick I told them to drink more water. When they broke a shoelace, I gave them a new one. When they were too loud in the green room...well, I told them. Over a six-week rehearsal period and a five-week performance schedule doing 9 shows a week, we got to know each other very well.
"Goodnight Moon" was an adorable show visually. It was intentionally designed to look just like the book, and it did. Our mostly young audience sat spellbound for the most part. "He sat at the edge of the seat the whole time!" "She wants to come and see the show again!" "This is our first show, and we'll be back!" "He's never been quiet for a whole hour since he was born!" were some of the many comments that we heard in the receiving line.We had many first time theater-goers. And with first time theater-goers, mistakes are bound to be made. (Can you feel the tension mounting???)
Most people understand that having a cell phone go off during a movie or live theater production is not acceptable. It is disruptive and rude. I heard a story of an actor who chased the offender with the cell phone out of the theater screaming at him (the offender apparently decided to answer his phone and have a discussion during this actor's scene onstage). Most actors that I know have had similar thoughts, but haven't carried them out.
At the beginning of each of our shows an announcement is made welcoming the audience and then giving them a few simple rules. One of those simple rules is: "Flash photography, cameras and recording equipment of any kind are not allowed in the theater." Seems reasonable to me. Clear, concise and easy to understand.
Let's review the reasons flash photography is not allowed:
1) It blinds the actors. They could fall and break something.
2) It is rude. It distracts other theater goers who might not like a bright flash to occur during their theater going experience.
3) It is illegal. The set designer, costume designer, director, choreographer, writer, prop designer are all artists who have created a piece of art. Copyright laws are broken when someone takes a picture of their work without their permission.
4) Did I mention it blinds the actors?
Even with the pre-show announcement and the fact that it is also written in the program, there are inevitably people who don't know any better. A flash will go off here and there. When that happens, the House Manager politely asks them to stop. This usually works. However, one day we were besieged. It was as if a group of people had carefully planned their attack. Here is what I imagine their meeting sounded like:
MARY: OK. We'll take a few flash pictures during the show. Not too many - we don't want to get caught.
BRUNO: That's right. I just got out of the joint. Food's terrible! I'll sit in the left of the theatre. Mary, you sit in the right.
SPIKE: I'll sit in the middle of the theatre, so they can't get to me. Besides, I still got that warrant out on me.
MARY: Good thinking, Spike! During the finale, take as many flash pictures as you can. I don't see any cops! The car's waiting out back.
SPIKE: Got it!
During our finale, we sang: "Keep a Positive Attitude". As you might imagine, it is an upbeat, happy, optimistic song, and we were all smiling and singing our hearts out. That's when Spike clicked off at least five flash pictures in a row. Bruno and Mary were clicking away as well. I had held it in for as long as I could. But we all have our breaking point. This Bunny's carrot cracked.
You see my photograph. I don't look very intimidating. Actually, I am almost 5'9" and dressed like a...bunny, so I had that going for me. We were all being blinded by the constant flash. The cast kept smiling and singing. But like I said, my carrot had cracked.
I stepped out of the line and toward the audience. I held up my hand like Diana Ross when she sings: "Stop in the Name of Love". I looked right at the perpetrator and shook my head: "NO!" I wasn't smiling. I had lost my positive attitude. I was thinking about the kids. How they had performed through sickness and health, broken shoelaces and ripped pants. Struggled with keeping up at school, and all of the drama that we all went through at that age. And yet, here they were singing and dancing and smiling only to be blinded by Spike.
The flashing stopped. I stepped back in line. I put my smile back on. I finished singing and dancing with the cast.
Did I do the right thing? I felt badly for the 700+ other audience members who weren't taking pictures. But it had to be done. A lesson had to be learned. Hopefully those people who felt compelled to take pictures of the cast won't do it anymore. And if I have saved even one bunny from being flashed, well then, it was worth it.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Facebook Fiasco
Unfortunately, both of my daughters were away at college, so I couldn't ask them to help me set it up. I was determined, however. I forged ahead. I put on my reading glasses. That helped right away. Amazingly, I actually figured it out by myself. I have yet to understand how one adds photos and all of the necessary accoutrements, but I decided that there is time for all of that later. After all, I was now a member! Part of the elite club. I watched and waited. The anticipation built. How many friends would I make, anyway? Ten? Twenty? Or ...dare I even dream? Fifty?!? Wait. Did I even have any friends besides my girlfriend who moved to Arizona? It's not as if I've been a great correspondent over the years.
And then it happened. I made a friend. And then another. And before I knew it, I made more. And more. Facebook is kind of like a fungus. It just grows and grows. I began to enter names from my past. A few of them emerged. Most of them allowed me into their Facebook world. The ones who didn’t probably knew I wasn’t ready. I made more friends in a week than I had made in the last ten years.
I should have been suspicious right then and there. I should have seen it coming. But I was too excited counting my new friends! Twenty five, twenty six… eighty! And then, there it was. A message from …my dad. OMG! He is eighty years old, and I love him to death. He still rides a bike almost everyday. And he doesn’t just ride around the block, kids. Oh no. He rides fifty to sixty miles each time he goes out. He puts most of us to shame. But being the amazing father that he is, he didn’t just open a Facebook account which I apparently invited him to do. He posted pictures. OF HIS KIDS!!!
Suddenly, there I am in front of all of my new friends in a bathing suit, wearing no make-up, my hair slicked back, scowling at my precious nephew as I was trying to teach him to dive into a pool last summer. Apparently I hadn’t had Botox in a while, either. I texted my daughters for advice. They told me that now I knew how they felt. Oh what a tangled web we weave! I knew the ball was in my court.
I emailed my dad. “Hi Dad! How are you? I see that you are on Facebook. Cool! Would you please remove the picture of me by the pool in my bathing suit with no make-up, my hair slicked back, scowling at John as I was trying to teach him to dive? Love, Jennifer.” He removed the picture.
I haven’t actually talked to him since then. Oh, we’ve emailed. But we didn’t mention “the photo.” So, I wonder. Is Facebook a good thing for me? For my dad? Or would we have been better off just leaving it to whom it was first intended: The cool young people that my daughters are, that I once was, that my father perhaps still thinks I am. I suppose time will tell. In the meantime, I now have ninety nine friends, and if you think I’m stopping now honey, you just don’t know me at all!













